Author: lieslrowe

Two years. As I now fondly conjure up the first few shaky months of getting to our feet in Vienna a September two whole years ago, I realize how far we have come. It’s easy to think still of all the things we miss, and how we haven’t reached all our goals for our time here, but we truly have come so far.

Our girls went from barely two and nearly four to just four and almost six. Juliet has lived half of her life in Austria. We went from one finishing potty training and one still in diapers to two preschoolers who speak German and think riding the bus and subway and train is the only common sense way of traveling to class and activities. Girls who also love apple strudel and croissants and langos and expect a playground at every turn, and at least one wildlife park on every trip around the country. I jokingly say that to people who might consider a move like this with a two and four year old, I would definitely say – noooooooo! Don’t do it! Two year olds are tough. So are four year olds for that matter. And now looking back, I realize how much easier everything about living here has become because they are two years older and more mature. Potty training, longer attention spans, no more naps, more reasonable, more endurance for walking and hiking – yes it is so much better now. But in all seriousness, I think I just might do it over again if I had the chance. Even with a two year old. But I have to stop and remind myself why.

What am I most proud of? When we told people we were moving here, we always acknowledged to them and more so to ourselves how difficult we knew it would be. Who wants to uproot their family – pets and toddlers included – to a whole new continent and country? Status quo and routine are very important to little people. Also parents. Stability leads to lots of good things. But throw in a new language, different cultural practices, navigating an entire new system of living – why go through all that for a general “yes it’s a good thing to experience the world firsthand”. I mean, you can watch a documentary or go to a restaurant with international cuisine or make friends from overseas. And all of these things are good and educational! But we always said that it would be worth to move here in the end. But it is such an intangible benefit, and many people don’t get why all the life disrupting and stress inducing challenges of making a new life somewhere foreign where you are a minority is worth the knowledge of the world and people and your own selves that you gain along the way. And as I look back, I can be tempted to wonder myself when I get bogged down. Was it worth it? What can I articulate that we accomplished. How are we different now? What have we learned and benefitted from? What am I proud about the most for doing this thing? 

The travel bug is not new to us. Nathan and I both have a history of globe trotting whenever we had the opportunity so we were more inclined than the average person to jump off into the unknown, if you will. But this whole uprooting the family and rooting it again is a much different animal. Two years later, we know that so well. And we have done it! That’s what I am by far the most proud of. It’s no small feat to become integrated into a new way of doing everything. From navigating public transportation, to housing, to health insurance and doctors, house maintenance and holidays and school and church culture, to shopping and car maintenance, everything you took for granted is done a wee bit differently. In the beginning, you don’t know the first thing about how to go about transactions or what is appropriate, what you say or don’t say, what laws are in place for certain activities, etc. ALOT of google translate, mistakes, and advice from more experienced expats, and feeling stupid goes into the learning process. We can now go through a lot of the nitty gritty routines of every day life without blood pressure rising, stress and anxiety, and not sticking out like a sore thumb quite so much. Yes we are in a “Western” country but everything is different. A visit to the bank, a visit to the doctor, a trip to the grocery store, or to the equivalent of the county clerk, all require little adjustments to what you might normally do at home. And with the language barrier, that just becomes a whole lot more fun and time consuming. Thank God for people who smile and are patient with us! It doesn’t happen all the time for sure. 

Secondly, I am so proud of the language skills we are beginning to acquire. Our brains are growing in a whole new way. Anneliese and Juliet can fully communicate at their preschool with their friends and teachers and Anneliese has begun to translate for us where she can. She also has an Austrian accent that I envy. Their vocabulary may be limited to what they talk about at school, but they can communicate. And last night, as I joined the parent’s meeting to learn about the plan for the preschool for the coming year, I felt proud of myself for understanding the session in German. No, I don’t understand quite everything and they translated a few things for me, but I can get so much! I couldn’t say that two years ago, for sure. I wish I was better at speaking German at this point, but I have come so far. 

Another thing that I am proud of that I didn’t think about before we came here, was the strength we’ve gained as a family. Bonding. We are all that we have and we come together as a team to make it through the challenges. It’s been a process and there have been ups and downs, sickness and health, but the main trajectory has been up. We’ve become independent in doing new things and traveling together and tackling projects as a family unit. Long weekend afternoons together, quarantine lockdowns, the mundane and the new – we are more comfortable and truly enjoying being together. Loneliness in the bigger sphere has been an underlying current in finding our place here, but we have each other and the relationships have become sweeter. 

Finally, we have completed some of our bucket list plans and new ones along the way with travel. We always wish we could have done more, (and surprised at how difficult it is to tote along the family for our adventures)  but for where we are at with our kids, I think we’ve done an admirable amount. We’ve visited six countries and made memories in each. Besides that, we have enjoyed traveling and taking in all the natural wonders of Austria itself. We have traveled by train, bus and car, and ridden innumerable cable cars up to mountain views, and biked, hiked, explored caves, beaches, and gorgeous lakes and forests. The nature is sublime. I’ll never regret going through anything difficult for the actual chance to experience hiking in the Swiss alps, sighting chamois and marmots, delighting in the alpine wildflowers and taking in the majestic views. Just put me in the mountains and it’s all good. 

And as for the intangible benefits of travel, we have felt it in our souls and heard it in our girls questions and observations and in their play with each other. They have a concrete knowledge that people speak different languages and they love hearing them when we go new places. Even in their preschool, they are the only caucasian children and all their friends have different foods, mother languages, and customs. They are aware of this and find it all interesting. They are learning about flags and geography, and they discuss what a new country is like and play about the new things they learn when we get home from a trip. They know they are a minority here and our culture is not the only, and more importantly, not the best thing, there is. There are beautiful, rich, and interesting ways of life everywhere you go. Being a foreigner requires you to be more humble and open if you plan to learn and succeed. And most of all to not take yourself too seriously. We all are growing in this and I know this will impact my girls for the rest of their lives. 

So there you have it. Two years in and this is what we are proud of. This has been an opportunity of a lifetime and we won’t regret the hard days. We still miss home and it’s easy to think everything that is difficult about being away from it, but it’s good to pause and take stock of the positives. We’ve done a thing. And the memories and experiences will stay with us forever. Now, eight more months to go!

When is the right time for a blessing? We tend to make the executive decison as soon as we decide what we want. ASAP please. Our timelines are carefully mapped out, thank you very much.

Oh, and let’s run it by God. He’s the one who’s planning good things for my life, right?

God, this is what my heart desires. Please grant me this request. Remember you’ve promised that you will fulfil the desires of my heart and that every good and perfect gift is from you?

PS: Please don’t be late.  

Ever prayed a version of this prayer? Simply put – God, it’s time for you to show up and bring on the goodness.

Abraham prayed this prayer. Isaac prayed this prayer. God and they were on more than a first name basis. God was a covenant partner in their lives.  Yet, their journeys were bisected with a divine pause. A setting up of camp at an agonizingly long brink of what they longed for. God, the God of goodness and love and mercy made them wait for the promised pinnacle of blessing.

There were more that prayed this prayer too. Here’s to looking at the elderly priest in the book of Luke. Zechariah was no stranger to the stories of his ancestors. The tales of Abraham’s faith were famous. Zechariah is also an elderly man now like the revered father of faith,  plodding through his daily grind, endlessly praying the same prayer he had probably prayed for years. Hoping against hope? So it would seem, UNTIL God answers. He actually answers. He personally dispatches the archangel from the throne of God to give Zechariah the spectacular newsflash that not only has God heard and answered his prayer, but God has answered beyond what Zechariah could have ever dreamed for himself. Gabriel drops the bomb that Zechariah and Elisabeth will have a son filled with the Holy Spirit from his infancy – a son who will one of the greatest prophets Israel has ever known.

Hallelujah and amen! God pulls back the curtains of the future a crack, lets Zechariah look through, and imparts the stunning news that Zechariah himself is an integral part of that redemptive plan. God is working on his longed prayed for prayer. I think I can say with certainty that hardly any of us get a personal announcement that God has heard our desires and has our answer and even more than we requested coming down the pipeline.

What is Zechariah’s gut reaction to this announcement of his answered prayer?

That’s pretty awesome and all, God, but you’re too late. Do you see how old I am? Clearly this is beyond my ability. Maybe twenty years ago….but. How can this possibly happen?

Zechariah is consumed with counting his own limitations. He is spellbound by the knowledge of his tangible dis-abilities. He doesn’t believe God can answer his prayer, the prayer he had been praying for years upon years – the prayer he had been praying that very morning.

Oh how this sounds like an echo of our own hearts. Do we even believe anymore? Or are we mindlessly muttering the same request for days and months and years, just wanting God to notice that we are still without and still in need of a blessing of any shape or size. Hoping God finds some way to make us happy. Are we simply hoping for second best or plan B? Because, clearly, if we were meant to have this great blessing, it would have come at the right time.

And clearly, God, wasn’t that like 10 years ago?

Except for one small fact. God’s right time is the fullness of time. God’s right time has absolutely nothing to do with the intersection of current our abilities and propitious circumstances. God’s right time has so much more to do with His eternal, redemptive play-by-play that encompasses SO MUCH MORE than our personal story. God wins. And He wants more than anything to save anyone He can along the way. And however long it takes for this great controversy in the universe to be resolved and God’s glory to be vindicated once and for all – we are invited to be an integral part of the plotline that culminates in heaven itself. And not just us, but with just as many fellow saved sinners as God can persuade to come with us. It is entirely possible that your answer, your long-awaited blessing is going to come later than you want but precisely when you need, and precisely when someone or something else beyond you needs. Because God is never late. God is orchestrating victory. In your life and in the world.  

So let God be victorious in your life. Allow God to irradiate His power into your weakness. The weaker you are, the more power God can impart. We pray that God is love, we thank Him for His goodness, and talk of His power without a blink of the eye, so how about believing it? Think about it. Do you in this moment actually believe it? If you do, how might you live and think differently? Think of that prayer. You know the one. Think of what you have been crying for. Think of what you think God has forgotten. Choose to believe. Take God at His word, look back at God’s ultimate wins in the past, and you will know without a doubt that unanswered prayers do not exist. Do yourself a favor and reflect on Abraham. Meditate on Zechariah. Read that promise in James:

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness neither shadow of turning.” (Js. 1:16)

Please don’t let that shadow of a doubt cross your mind. Why should a shadow keep you from the joy of expecting the promise?

Yes, it all has to do with timing. And guess what? Just in case you were wondering, those good things will lose nothing for the wait.  They might even grow into something greater than you even bargained for. God does have a reputation for sweetening the deal. Ultimately though, our timeline on earth is merely a blip on the radar. Blessed eternity is on the way. Eternity. Our seeming losses and setbacks here are nothing compared to the glory God has prepared for us.

Maybe God is waiting because He wants to keep you close while you’re here. If we’re asking we’re engaging. If we’re engaging we can be learning. If we can be learning we can be growing. God deeply desires us to grow and prosper and find joy in His presence. And years of building a deeper relationship with our Heavenly Father could be just the stepping stone that will finally bridge the gap between our limitations and God’s limitless abundance.  Maybe it will take years until you can stop staring at the scanty rations in your hand and only be mesmerized by the abundance in His hand. Because it is only what is in His hand that matters.

God’s word does not fail. God is waiting. And that should excite you!

The grand finale always comes at the end.

Coming home is such a sweet phrase. I didn’t expect to say this to Vienna, of all places, after our summer vacation in Italy. We are officially 10 months into our European adventure, and for the first time are feeling like Vienna is where we belong. It was such a great feeling after some harrowing days and nights of train travel to pull into our local station, and know where all the elevators were, which direction to go, what the food options were, and to be able to read and understand things like signs and menus again. While our German is far from fluent, we’d not realized just how much we actually DO know until we were reduced to square one again in Italy. It was back to alot of context, hand signals, google translate, and smiles again. We also stayed in a very remote area of Italy where we were quite likely the only tourists and only speakers of English in the whole town which made things rather interesting. I’ve always wondered what it was like to travel Europe by train, and well – for better or worse we can say we have done it and survived in one piece. We also had the privilege (and challenge – with small and relatively uninterested in interesting sites small people in tow) of touring to some beautiful spots like Cinque Terre (pictured below), saw the leaning tower of Pisa, and spent a beautiful day in Venice, where we honeymooned six years ago. Along with three days at an actual beach to actually dig our toes in the sand and swim in the Mediterranean, it was a full and busy week, and when we unloaded with grandparents, our 8 suitcases, a stroller, purses, and diaper bag off the train in Vienna, I definitely sighed a sigh of relief.

Ten months in, and I keep wondering if things are actually getting easier now, or if we are just getting used to them. It is probably a mixture of both. The girls are getting to be real troopers managing long trips on trains, subways, buses, trams – you name it! Our Italy trip taught us alot about quick transfers with a multitude of baggage, so schlepping across Vienna seems much less intimidating now. We are discovering the joys of the Danube, with lots of nice beach and play areas to enjoy in the summertime. Our German really is coming along too, and the girls especially are speaking more and talking with their classmates now.

Ten months in, and while I don’t have any epiphany to share, I am feeling grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to have experienced so many amazing places this summer, and also grateful for small things and for home. Just this month, the girls have told me they like living in Vienna now. That was a first for them, and perhaps related to this revelation, was that in the moment they were blissfully chowing down on bean burritos at Max & Benitos – the first decent Mexican restaurant we have found here. Maybe all it takes is a bean burrito for my Taco Bell loving little ladies, but Vienna is starting to feel pretty good.

• 

You are strong. You are fearless. In the eight months we have adventured overseas, you have without a doubt, are an essential element of our life. You make most (and would be all, if I had my way) of our expeditions possible. You are the reason we can walk 10 miles instead of five. You are integral to the comfort and well-being of your two passengers. You are the shelter from the rain, the repose weart legs, the magical spot to take a load off and put a snack in, and even a bed where both can fit in a pinch. Gone are your days of car trunk or garage life. Gone are your days of occasional adventures in the Smoky Mountains. Adventures are common place now. And you are not transported by vehicle to any one of them. Every step of every journey, you roll your intrepid way alongside us. You give us some semblance of independent adulthood where we are not limited by the erratic progress of easily distracted and wearied humans. You are an expat stroller now and excel at your task.

Your are our safety net, our home base, our extra arms, in short – you have easily transformed into our beloved family vehicle – complete with crumbs and toys and books and even groceries stashed in your capacious compartments. Without you, supermarket trips would be much less productive and much more stressful. Beyond the mundane, you have gone where few American strollers have gone before. The alps, castles, the woods – through rain, mud and snow, we have come to rely on your off trustworthy off-roading tires.

We are a team. You been carried up and down numerous flights of winding stairs, squeezed into miniature elevators, hustled up into questionable trams and down out of buses and daily perform masterful wheelies to enter the subway trains. You even accomodate us with the wheelie tilt back to make it up and down escalators in traveling emergencies. Together we are always better!

You creak now when heavily loaded, but I think you deserve it. We hear you, and we promise to keep your tires filled, your canvas cleaned, your loads strategic, and carry you over those stairs every time you need it. We couldn’t adventure without you!

Thanks, Bob.

Sincerely,

An expat family without a car.

Spring in Austria has been lovely and inviting and in no hurry for anything – our winter clothes need to be handy still for the weeks like this one where we have clouds and cold and drizzle and are lucky to make it to 50 degrees. But every so often, the sunshine peeks out for a few days and hope springs new and 70 degrees comes tantalizingly closer. So many of my favorite flowers are here and it’s surprisingly nostalgic. Snowdrops and crocus, cheerful daffodils and tulips, lots of forsythia and cherry trees, and eventually so many violets and daisies and dandelions in our yard to keep my kitchen table supplied with daily bouquets from my two very happy little flower-gatherers. And what has warmed my heart the most are the lilacs! Lilacs are my all time favorite flower, and remind me of my childhood in the Pacific Northwest.

Like in the Northwest, we are getting used to what it means to live farther north again. The birds are enthusiastically singing with the first light at 5am and even now, its not really dark until 9pm – and we haven’t even gotten to summer yet! Right now, we are thankful spring is taking its sweet time though, because with no air conditioning, we hear July and August are interesting.

Speaking of birds, we are slowly identifying the avian visitors to our backyard feeders. So many species are similar, but subtly different than their North American counterparts. My favorite so far is the Eurasian blackbird. Related to the American robin, it is a jet black thrush with red eye ring and bill, and has a very sweet, melodically varied song. The males perch themselves in prominent spots throughout our neighborhood to musically proclaim their territory claims, and will be singing until sunset on some days. The European robin is a beautiful little bird as well, and we’ve enjoyed a few sightings. We have a nesting pair of Eurasian collared doves in our backyard, as well as a pair of great tits (which we called Austrian chickadees for a long time until we figured out what they actually were). Instead of American crows, rooks and hooded crows are the big boys of the suburbs.

Yes, I miss the dogwoods and redbuds, the cardinals and bluebirds, and the wildflowers of the Smoky Mountains, and have to fight the temptation to miss much more, but there is so much beauty here, if you take the time to see it and appreciate it. No matter where you live, it’s very easy to miss out on what’s wonderful and unique around you when all you can think about is the wonderful, comfortable “known” that you’ve left behind you. I believe you have to let go of the past before you can fully appreciate your present. And someday, you will probably be tempted to look back on this present with rose colored glasses again and miss the comfortable past that now is is your new and maybe unsettled. Those glasses are fun to put on, but honestly they distort reality. And I believe they put blinders on your ability to grow in the moment. And if you have them on for the rest of your life, you will never have fully enjoyed your own journey.

So, can we just lay those rose colored glasses by for good? Take them off and look around you. Be amazed. Your life is here, right now. What a privilege to be living and breathing and experiencing every day! Make a list of blessings. They will grow, because you see what you focus on.

PS: Also, try something new! It might be pretty awesome – like pumpkin seed oil gelato!

Not everyone gets to step out of their life and experience it from the outside looking in. That’s what I love about being an expat.

Traveling and living abroad stretches and changes you and questions your motives and habits like nothing else does. From the amusing musings like why do Austrian eggs only come in packages of sixes or tens? Is a dozen not a thing here? And then, the immediate analyzing, why on earth does that bother me? Also, where did the black beans go? And what happened to decent Mexican food? Why do all stores close between 6-7pm even on weekdays? And nothing is open on Sunday at all. Why are freezers the size of a dresser drawer? And refrigerators barely bigger? It’s all part of adjusting to someone else’s normal. And sometimes someone else’s normal clearly trumps your known and normal too. Like abundant national holidays…hello more vacation days when Daddy is at home! Amazing museums to visit at very economical prices. Lots of free and low priced activities for children. Wonderful green spaces and parks. Organic food galore. History, art, culture surrounding us at every step. And the church bells. Oh, the church bells.

It’s all perspective. What we categorize as good or bad – it all comes from our sense of normality. What we grew up with is what’s best, right? How about maybe not? It’s incredibly easy to narrow our mindset and defend the known just because it feels good. But you will never know what else is good unless you open up your mind and take that step outside of your comfort zone. New is not necessarily less than. Different is not worse. It’s just different. The conscious choice and perspective to not minimalize the other than you is something you are put face to face with every day when you live abroad. If you open up to the new, it’s scary at times. Always humbling. And so rewarding.

Seven months into the journey we began because we simply wanted to let the new in and see where it would take us, and we are still new and still learning. Still working on that perspective daily and taking stock of the goodness around us and what is growing within us. We are still humbled daily and working on challenging ourselves out of the comfort zone that we have created in our world here.

So, explore Vienna and this expat life with me. You won’t have to study German to do it! Maybe. 🙂 Here’s your place to sit on your couch and still be able to look through the cracks at what it’s like to live and love another side of the world.